What Am I Waiting For?

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     For the last four years, I've been "trying my hand" at this writing thing.  I know that this is something I can truly see myself doing full time.  In the first month alone, I had amassed a collection of 7 short stories and poems.  Then just a few months later, I found NaNoWriMo and I actually created a novel, something I thought beyond my abilities.

     So, after four years, I should have a nice lengthy collection, right?  I should have short stories and poems coming out of the woodworks.  After participating in NaNoWriMo three years in a row, I should have three novels complete and simply needing polishing, right?  Wrong.  I didn't know just how wrong until I came across authonomy.com, a site created by HarperCollins Publishing that allows writers to share their work with readers, editors and publishers with the possibility of getting published by HarperCollins.  The site requires any work that you share to consist of a minimum of 10,000 words.

     My first novel was shared with fellow writers earlier this year and, after their helpful feedback, requires a lot more editing before I am ready to share it on authonomy.com.  The second novel is only about halfway written and the third is, well only a third written.  I couldn't finish the second and third because the more I wrote them, the more I found things that didn't work with the first or that didn't make sense.  So with the ever evolving first novel still incomplete, I chose to sideline the other novels and concentrate my efforts on the first novel.

     Without an actual novel to share, or even a part of one that I was willing to share, I decided to compile most of my poems and short stories.  With the exception of a handful, I loaded them all, one by one, each representing a "chapter".  I watched the number climb; 7, 10, 13, until I had a total of 17 "chapters".  I was feeling pretty good about this.  17 poems and short stories, that's not a shabby number.  But the number that was shabby, the word count.  Somehow, all of those works only accounted for 6669 words.  All these years and all the writing I thought I had been doing and this was all I could scrape together?

     I already knew that I lacked focus and discipline.  I just didn't realize how bad it was.  If writing is truly what I want to do, then why aren't I doing it?  What am I waiting for?  These novels aren't going to write or edit themselves.  

     Time to step up my game and get serious...

Naming Your Book

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     Have you ever been drawn to a book simply by its title?  What you name your book is just as important as the content you fill it with.  It is the first chance you have to attract a reader and give them an idea what your book is about.  In a blog, written by Amanda Patterson, she offers 8 tips to consider when naming your book.

1. It should suit your genre

2.  It must have something to do with the plot

3.  It should be easy to remember

4.  It should appeal to the reader on an emotional and an intellectual level

5.  It should be easy to pronounce

6.  Short names are better (3-5 words)

7.  Visual titles work best

8.  The title should also reveal a bit about the soul of the book

     Look for successful books within your genre and find a common thread.  Can you see your book fitting in among these?  A reader should be able to tell just from the title alone, what genre your book falls under.  The title should give the reader an idea of what they will be reading.  What is your book about?  If you could describe the plot of your book in five words or less, what would it be?  

The title should be something simple, yet it should stand out.  You want to be sure that the title of your book is distinct enough that it will be instantly recognizable, yet simple enough to stick in the mind of a reader so that they can recommend it to other readers.  It should evoke powerful emotions or be so thought provoking that it intrigues the reader so much that they feel compelled to read the book.

     You want to be sure to make the title easy to pronounce for your target audience.  If you are writing a children's book, you wouldn't want to use a sophisticated phrase that would be beyond their comprehension.  Keep it short, sweet and to the point.  Offer readers a glimpse of the soul of your novel, giving just enough to attract their attention, but not so much that they don't feel like they need to read the book.

     We spend so much time writing the stories and painstakingly editing in an effort to get everything just right.  All of that hard work is for naught if the same care is not taken when choosing a title.  Think of naming your novel as naming your child, because in essence, that's what our novels are to us.

NaNo Prep 2013

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     It is officially NaNoWriMo prep season and everyone is busy gearing up for November 1st.  Everywhere I look, there are status updates and blog posts all about the ways in which everyone is getting ready.  With each strategy, brainstorm, and novel idea I read about, I feel the longing grow stronger and stronger.  You see, since I discovered NaNoWriMo back in 2009, this will be the first year that I will not be participating.  It feels a bit like being grounded on the night of the biggest party of the year and having to listen to everyone else's excited chatter about what they will be wearing and who they will be going with.

     You might be asking why I don't just sign up and join if I'm already missing it before it has begun.  The answer is simple.  Every year, for the last four years, I signed up, jumped headlong into a new novel and burned out about halfway through the month.  And this is when I had time to dedicate to my writing.  I've continued to join, even though I have yet to win, because NaNo pushes me beyond my everyday limits and gets me writing more than I do virtually the entire rest of the year.  I have always counted this as a win even if I don't technically win the NaNo challenge of 50K words in a single month. 

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     This year however, I am halfway through one of the longest, most tedious projects I've ever been assigned at work.  It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining.  By the time I get home each night, my mind is numb and my body aches.  Ignoring these feelings, I still try to get in some writing whenever I can because there are stories within me that are still waiting to be told.  There are characters that wish to be introduced to the world, places that need to be charted and events that need to unfold and they are all relying on me.  

     Despite my desire to do the writing, my body is so worn that I am barely able to keep my eyes open when I finally have the time to sit down and write these days.  I am lucky if I am able to eek out anything more than 300 words in a single sitting.  With that in mind, how could I ever hope to meet the 1667 a day minimum I would need to reach the 50K goal?  The saddest part of all is that this would have been the first year that I would have participated with a vast network of fellow WriMos that understand the insane journey that is NaNoWriMo and might have been the difference between me burning out and actually winning the challenge this year.

     Who knows, over the next three weeks I might just end up giving in to longing and join after all.  But if not, then I wish all my fellow WriMos good luck as I live vicariously through your posts on your NaNo progress.  Not to worry though, next year, I will be back in line amongst the ranks of sleep deprived writers!

Dream Job Part II

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     Last week, I shared with you what my absolute dream job would be.  Since my dream of becoming a musician is unrealistic and unattainable, I thought long and hard about what I would love to be doing for a living, that I could actually do.  What would I like to spend my days doing that would make earning a living enjoyable?  

Living the Dream

     The answer, being a writer.  If I could spend my days creating stories, poems and novels that people can connect with, I would be a happy person.  I'd be free to always be me and people would chalk up any eccentricities to my being a writer, because writers are, by nature, quirky.  Or, at least, that is the general consensus.

     I imagine what my life would be like as a writer.  My mornings would be spent sending my kids off to school before I grabbed a cup of coffee and then sat down at my desk, surrounded by books, and set to work.  Hours would fly by as I wrote or researched or got lost catching up on my social media (because let's be honest, you can't ever just sign on for five minutes).  Then my kids would come home from school and I'd spend time making them snacks and finding out what they did that day.  I'd try to get in a few more hours of writing before it would be time to make dinner.  

     Some days, when the sun is shining and there is a nice warm breeze, I'd head outside to write while soaking up some sun.  I'd be able to chaperone school trips or catch all the recitals (both of my kids play violin) and plays that I currently miss out on due to my demanding work schedule.  I'd take walks to clear my head when I have a bout of writer's block, stopping to smell the roses and take pictures that I always intend to take but never have the chance to right now.  I'd finally get to travel to all the places I've wanted to see, but never had the time, as I travel to various book stores while doing a tour.

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     Sometimes, I even go so far as to imagine myself in a smoking jacket and ascot (weird since I'm a woman) with a tumbler of scotch or brandy in my hand, sitting or standing in front of a fireplace, mulling over a few ideas for my next book.  Or perhaps hobnobbing with other writers at various book release parties, discussing the trials and tribulations of life as a writer.  I think that perhaps this might be my alter ego and if I can come up with a name for this stuffy, upper crust, male version of myself, then I would have found my pen name.

     Maybe the reality of being a writer will be nothing at all like I imagine it, but simply doing something that I enjoy would make it far better than any other career options I currently have available to me.  Being able to set my own schedule and create a routine would offer me the flexibility to enjoy life before it passes me by while helping me focus more on my writing.  

     Right now, it seems that my ideas come to me at the most inopportune times, while in the middle of program testing for our new accounting system or reviewing financial statements and I can't stop to jot down the notes because, well, that would be frowned upon.  By the time I have some "free time" to actually do my writing, I am physically and mentally drained.  Even writing this blog takes longer than it used to because in the middle of writing it, I start dozing off.  And yet, I haven't stopped trying, haven't put down my pen or shut off my computer because writing has become a part of me and without it, I'd be lost.

     Writing is like therapy for me.  Through all of the stresses of life, whatever crazy roller coaster ride of emotions I am on, I become grounded through my writing.  I purge my emotions onto the page, into the characters and the story or poem, giving them a depth that would otherwise be lacking.  I know that it will not always feel like a joy, there are times when it can feel like work, but if I could escape to a world of my imagining for hours on end and get paid for it, that would truly be a dream come true.  

Dream Job Part I

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     I've often been asked what my dream job would be.  Apparently my varying interests (music, writing, baking, etc...) confuse people.  But the repeated question has gotten me thinking about what I would like to be doing with my life if I didn't have the oppression of paying the bills weighing me down and keeping me from chasing my dreams.  After all, when you are a single mom trying to raise two kids, your dreams take a backseat to the needs of your kids.  And when you have kids at a young age like I did, during the period where most young people are busy finding themselves, you tend to lose sight of yourself altogether until one day you look around and realize you're stuck in a job you hate because someone needs to pay the bills and keep a roof over your heads.  At least, this is what happened in my case.

     Several ideas of what my dream job would be have come to mind, some are nothing more than a dream at this point in my life and others are still actually attainable.  Narrowing down the list, my top two choices fall at opposite ends of that spectrum.  So to answer anyone who's asked and to offer an insight into who I am, or rather, who I might have been, here is a glimpse of what I would like to have been "when I grow up":

In Another Life

     I've stated many times before how big a part music plays in my life.  Sadly, I have no musical ability of my own to speak of.  I wouldn't necessarily say that I am tone deaf, because when I listen to music, I can hear the changes in pitch (even American Idol and other Karaoke type video games tell me that I am "pitch perfect").  I can actually even feel the music, like it reaches down into my soul and changes me with every beat, thump and thrum.  The problem, is that I hear myself differently; that is until I record my voice and play it back, then I hear the way I sound to the rest of the world and I cringe.

     If things were different, if I didn't sound like a wounded animal or as though my jaw was wired shut and the world could hear me the way I hear myself, well, then I would have loved to be a musician.  A well rounded musician, with talent and melody oozing out of every orifice.  I envy the talent of musicians like Melanie Fiona whose voice and ear for music work together to create magic.  Seriously, if you don't believe me, you should check out her cover of Wale's Bad or Biggie's One More Chance.  She doesn't just mimic what she hears and regurgitate it.  With her amazing talent and voice, she completely reinvents it in a way that only she can, giving it a distinct sound this is her signature.  I don't care what song she is singing, you can always tell that it is Melanie and hear her unique tone.

     That's what my true "dream" job would be.  To be able to affect the lives of others, while doing something that I truly love and enjoy.  Music has a way of making people feel like they are not alone in this world, like there is someone else out there that understands exactly what they are going through and through music, they were able to connect.  It is like a friend or a warm blanket on a cold winter day, comforting and familiar.  Music is there for you through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the joy and the pain.

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     When I was younger, I attempted to write a song.  I thought it was the best thing ever and kept it in my wallet for weeks until I lost it.  Afraid that I had lost it somewhere that it would be found by a particular person who I shall not name, I was completely embarrassed.  I started to think that maybe it was really cheesy and this person had found it, giving them a good laugh at my expense.  With that fear and humiliation came doubt and I stopped trying to write songs.  Who was I kidding, even if I wrote great songs, it's not like they would have ever made it into the right hands, right?

     Recently, after embracing novel writing, I started thinking about how music influences my writing.  The combination of the writing and the music inspired me.  In an attempt to start writing songs again, I seem to have found a knack for poetry.  I was told by someone who read my poem Craving, that it would make a good song.  So maybe my dream of working in music isn't completely unattainable after all.

     Are you working in your dream job?  If not, what would you rather be doing?  Check back next week for part II, where I offer insight into the dream job that I'm still striving towards.   

Scrap That

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     Every writer can attest to the fact that we are our own biggest critic.  No story we write will ever be perfect, the characters will never be quite as real on the page as they are to us and there will always be more to add.  Sometimes, a story will feel as though it is beyond salvaging and so it is set aside for something new.  This can be due to boredom, frustration or just plain lack of potential.  How do you know if a project is truly beyond saving or if it just needs a bit of TLC?

     One way that I can tell that a project is worth reworking is when I set it aside and weeks or even months later, it starts to permeate my thoughts again.  Much like when the story first came to fruition, its voice grows louder and louder until it can no longer be ignored.  A project that refuses to be ignored is one that must surely be worth sharing.  It may require minor changes, or it may require a complete rewrite, scrapping entire paragraphs or even chapters.

     Eventually, we must reach a point where we say that the story is good enough; good enough to be shared with others, even if we still have changes to "perfect" it.  Beta readers, friends or family are the perfect starting point.  Sharing your work with another person is the first step to completing it.

     But sometimes, a project truly is not worth saving.  Maybe it made sense while it was in your head, but once it was put on paper, you found it really just didn't work.  Maybe the characters were too flat or not real enough and no matter what you tried, you just couldn't bring them to life.  There are some cases where a project is just beyond repair and despite our best efforts, we must choose to scrap the whole thing and move on to the next one.

     How can you tell if a project is doomed for the scrap pile?

Did That Really Happen?

     A little over a year ago, I wrote a blog called Write What You Know, exploring the meaning behind the sage advice that many writers are given.  Delving a bit deeper into the topic, I've been thinking about just how this can be accomplished.  

     Great writing contains the perfect mix of truth and creativity.  This mix can be different for each writer and it is up to us to find the mix that works best.  I have said many times in the past that most of my writing is based in reality but there are always creative elements mixed in.  For other writers, their writing may be based on creativity with elements of reality mixed in, but there is always a mix of the two, even when it may not be evident to the reader.

     While working on my new short story compilation, a lot of the work is based on truths in my life or the lives of those around me.  Many things have been changed, left out, embellished or just plain made up.  Anyone who knows me well enough will be able to see some of the similarities between the stories and my life.  But even the people that know me best would not be able to tell without a shadow of a doubt, exactly what is true and what I created for the story.

     After sharing one of my earliest short stories with a friend, his response was, "Wow, that's pretty personal, don't you think?"  He was right of course, there was a lot in there that was highly personal to me, but that is what made the story work.  My pain and confusion was easily felt by the reader because it was something that I understood whole-heartedly and could convey to the reader quite clearly.

     While, at times, I quite literally write what I know (variations of experiences that I have had in my life), I get to change the experiences to suit my needs.  Have you ever had an argument with someone and later thought of things that you wished you had said?  Why not include that argument in your work and change it so that the argument goes the way you wish it had?

     Now that you get the picture of how writing based in reality is infused with creative elements, you might be asking how creative works are infused with reality.  Sci-fi and fantasy stories are perfect examples.  Think about Star Wars.  The places, people and in some cases, even the languages were completely invented leaving little doubt that the events in the story never took place in the real world.  So where is the reality in this, you might be asking.  It is infused in the emotion of the characters and even how they interact with one another.

     When creating a completely fictional scenario, an author can make it real by having the characters react and behave the same way the author or someone they know would behave in a similar situation.  Emotions are the realest, truest experience that can be the difference between a reader connecting to a character and being indifferent towards them.

     What mix of reality and creativity works for you?

Going on an Epic Adventure

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     Other than my love of supernatural stories, I've also always had a proclivity towards epic fantasy adventures (think The Princess Bride and Legend).  I always wished that I had the type of imagination it takes to create such an adventure, but my stories were always grounded in reality.  The idea of creating nonexistent cities and creatures was a foreign concept to me; anything I couldn't fact check and verify was beyond my comprehension.

     Recently, I was watching The Three Musketeers and I was visually intrigued; the costumes alone were worth the watch.  The movie got me to thinking, I can't recall ever seeing or reading an epic fantasy story where a female was anything more than the love interest of the hero or the double crossing vixen that tries to take him down.  In an age where women are proving on a daily basis that they can do anything a man can do, why aren't there more female leads in fantasy stories.  And just like that, words started forming in my mind, my hands began to type and a story slowly started to fill my screen.  For the first time ever, I was truly writing by the seat of my pants.  My main character was named in the first few sentences, a minor character introduced in the beginning of the second paragraph and a city was erected  just a few paragraphs later.

     I haven't fully worked out the story or even truly met my characters yet, but I'm excited by the prospect of creating something that I used to think was beyond my capabilities.  Equally exciting, is the prospect of offering my daughter and other young women a heroine they can call their own.  Why can't a princess slay a dragon or rescue her prince from peril?  Why must the damsel always be the one in distress? 

     With NaNoWriMo just around the corner, this would be the perfect time to flesh out an outline, or at the very least, the character sketches so that I know who I am writing about and what they wish to accomplish.  Unfortunately, with the way my schedule is at work recently, I had no intention of joining NaNo this year.  If I get enough background work done to feel like I can make some real progress on this story during NaNo, then I might have to change my mind and join after all.  Oh what a grand adventure that will be.